Deutero Q

I have been rereading Calvin Miller's The Empowered Leader: Ten Keys to Servant Leadership and was struck by his list of six types of difficult/challenging people. Every church leader will be able to identify with this list--and may even want to add another category or two! Here is Miller's list of difficult souls:

1. The Chronically Arrogant--These are the strong-willed types who are often spiritual bullies. They are intent on getting their way and must, according to Miller, be taught that their ambition may really be their way of masking inferiorities.

2. The Congenitally Belligerent--These are people who have been upset from the womb. They differ from the chronically arrogant who wants his or her way. The belligerant folks are always agressive and verbally abusive. They love fights, thrive on conflict and always seem to be mad.

3. The Non-Negotiator--These folks, says Miller, do not want to run things, they just want the spotlight. They are characterized by silence, avoidance, evasion and absence. At business meetings they may not say a thing, but the private work done behind the scenes can quietly set agendas. In addition to silence, non-negotiators may resort to whining as well, a ploy used to avoid negotiation.

4. The Nitpicker--The name says it all! Nitpickers major on minor issues. "They eat away the noble center of every dream," says Miller. Nitpickers must be constantly challenged to focus on things that really matter.

5. The Wheedler--This is a hybrid word that combines "whiner" and "needler." These types of people whine and groan to have their way. They are similar to non-negotiators, but are more communicative. Wheedlers are aware of the psychological power of their demeanor and will invoke guilt and readily resort to emotional blackmail to get what they want.

6. The "Yes-Butter"--These folks greet every great idea by saying, "Yes, but it won't work for this reason." The word "but" always follows the word "yes" with these people. Yes-butters are characterized by negativity.

So there you have it: six categories of difficult souls. Surely you, dear reader, do not fall into one of these categories, right?! It might be a good idea for each of us--beginning with me--to see if we fit in one of the aforementioned groups.